Q:

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am miserable at my job. I don’t believe this is what I was born to do. Although I hate my job, the money is quite good. I have been looking for another job and in times like these was fortunate to receive an offer with a company I think I may enjoy. However, I have one major concern…THE MONEY! Taking this job would mean taking a pay cut and would make me feel as though I was going backwards. What should I do? Melanie

Dear Melanie:
It always amazes me how much emphasis people place on money. Don’t get me wrong, money is a vital component to life and I too certainly enjoy having it. It however, should not be used as a prerequisite to being happy. Am I telling you to go out and quit your current job without considering your personal and financial situation? Of course not! I want you to be able to pay your bills, invest, and save for retirement, and enjoy some of the pleasures life has to offer. But, as you consider the sacrifices you may have to make it you take this job, also consider the money you waste in your current situation. Feeling as though you are going backwards is just that…a feeling. You do not have to allow this feeling to dictate the situation. Someone once told me when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Be mindful of what life is really about. It is about giving. Giving does not always entail writing a check. When you are “miserable” what can you truly give to the population you service? In case you are having difficulty answering, let me help you. The answer is nothing. As you make your decision, remember the true meaning of life, consider pursuing happiness, and I believe the money as well as opportunities will follow. Remember, live your life… On Purpose!

I am a 35 year old single woman. I have never been married, neither do I have any children. While I do long to be in a committed relationship, one that will hopefully lead me down the isle, I must say I do not consider myself desperate. I met a young man who is four years my junior, married with children. He has great energy. When we met, I must say we connected instantly. We were/are simply friends. We both feel free to talk to each other about the things going on in our world. He is having marital problems and I long to have a companion, someone to talk to. I think we fill a void for each other. Nothing has happened between us physically (I am telling the truth) but I truly believe he is giving me everything I want emotionally from a man. Here’s the problem. I am finding myself falling for this man and I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t want to loose his friendship. What should I do? Shannon

My Dear Shannon:
Where shall I begin... Often times when we are in a vulnerable position we latch on to whatever “appears” comforting and safe. The problem with this is more often than not we are latching onto something that pulls us deeper into our pain. Let’s be real. This man can not possible give you everything you want. All this man can give you is a broken heart, which he seems to be well on his way to doing. Now, this is a not a man bashing response, because in fact as humans we are all prone to making poor decisions. The question becomes, at what point do we grow up and make more mature decisions? You know you are falling for this MARRIED man. Now you have to recognize you have the power to stop it. You say you are worried about loosing his friendship. Trust me, you will loose much more than that if you don’t stop the situation now. One of the most precious things you will loose is your soul and when you loose that, life begins to have no meaning, and when this happens you eventually begin to question your existence. I strongly believe we have the answer to many of the questions we ask ourselves. The problem is our emotions get in the way of acting upon truth. But in case you need a little clarity, in the words of Teddy Pendergrass “I think you better let it go” and begin to live your life…On Purpose!